This is the email I sent to JD at 9:37 a.m. Enjoy.
9:37 AM (4 hours ago)
Today, I would encourage you to count your blessings that you are not a stay at home dad. And that it wasn't Saturday or Sunday.
This morning, I went to get Alice, and the first thing I noticed was the stench. Then my eyes quickly darted from the poop on her head, to her hands, to the crib rails, to the crib bumper, to the sheets, to the blankets, and to every stuffed animal - the bear included. Nothing was spared from the poopy mess - except for one thing: the totally dry and spotless plastic diaper floating in her crib, decidedly not wrapped around it's former wearer.
My guess is that she pulled it off in the middle of the night, if not early, and then slept bare-bottomed until I found her. Being totally unfamiliar with this kind of clean-up, I carried her (at arms-length, mind you) to the tub where I washed her, emptied the water, and refilled it and washed her again.
The crib I dismantled slowly, not wanting to further the mess. Everything is now in the wash and the crib and shower got a good spray down with bleach. At least it smells like Clorox and not whatever she ate yesterday.
While I was reassembling her mattress for nap time, she was of course taking every diaper wipe out of the box one by one. *Sigh* It has been a busy morning.
God has given me the strength and grace to charge through it and I now find it humorous. I am just praying the stains come out of all of her things.